Review of Thesis Protocols

Often times, many of the problems we have in writing are attributed to the failure to assign a strong, argumentative thesis. Keeping in mind the difference between observations and claims (see handout if necessary), let’s review some protocols for developing strong assertions so you can address this issue specifically in your writing and in the revision process:

? Your thesis is an assertion or claim—a claim, remember, is speculative or to some degree conjectural (that is, it necessitates further discussion/argument)

? The thesis claim must be clear

? It should involve a certain complexity. That is, it’s not “obvious” or predictable; it offers a unique perspective that is the outgrowth of independent thinking

? It must be specific, not broad

Ä When you meet all these criteria, you have a strong argumentative thesis. These criteria are the foci for “A-level” thinking.

**According to the English Department’s grading rubric, a writer may submit an essay that is generally well developed, relatively error free, and organized overall and still earn a B or C. If that describes you, review the criteria above. You may be stuck in the rut of “B-or-C-level” thinking (as described above and often attributed to a weak thesis/assertion). Writing is as much about thinking as it is about the ability to convey your thoughts in clear, precise prose.

What to remember…

1) Observations are not viable theses (observations are statements of plot/summary. They generally hinge on the “what” of the text: what happens in a work, what the author says or does, etc.)

Examples:

· In the Puritan writings “Penitence” and “Man, A Nothing,” both writers acknowledge their need for a higher power.

· Benjamin Franklin’s The Autobiography presents a model for all to live by and emulate.

· Both men in Franklin’s work and Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby embody the self-made man and achieve the American dream.

· In The Autobiography, Franklin tells us how he became such an accomplished man for the duration of his lifetime.

Stating the obvious sets the rest of the paper up to be general and simplistic to the reader who has already read the text/s. For example, to say that Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is “about the self-made man” is a simplistic observation. There is no complexity to the issue, nothing to argue or prove—anyone who has read the texts already knows this. A thesis of this sort limits the essay to generalizations, redundancy, particularly summary. This is generally because an “observational” thesis (hinged to an observation, not a claim) lacks an argumentative drive; in other words, there is nothing to actually prove. Look for “slant” in your writing—reach for ideas that provide ample opportunity for analytical inquiry and depth. Remember, you want to suggest a view of the text or texts that is not readily obvious to the reader and therefore must be proven.

**According to the English Department’s grading rubric, essays that lack a thesis will not pass with a C or higher. Essays that summarize and therefore fail to analyze do not meet the minimum passing requirement.

2) Move toward a greater degree of specificity in your thinking. Avoid broad and general claims.

Here’s an example: “The characters in Spike Lee’s The 25^th Hour embody a critique of the Franklinian dream.” This is a starting place for analytical inquiry, but the focus is still wide-open and unspecified. Let’s make a list, briefly, of all the components a thesis of this sort could address:

“The characters”

…which ones?

Frank

Monty

James Brogan
Naturalle

Niccoli

Kostya

Mr. Doyle

…get the point? But even if I do specify one character, the rest of the statement is still broad:

“critique of the American dream”

· whose American dream? (for example, Franklin would offer a very different model of the American dream than, say, would Emerson or Thoreau)

· how are you defining “American dream”?

· What kind of critique specifically? Critique of the capitalist thrust inherent in the story of the American dream? Critique of the exclusionary nature of the American dream (in terms of gender, race, class?)? Critique of the falsehoods embedded in the American dream, namely that it equates ideas of freedom and fulfillment with material acquisition?

See what I mean? There are too many questions left out on the table. The thesis is entirely too broad.

Another example: “While Franklin succeeds in achieving the American dream, Jay Gatsby, in The Great Gatsby, embodies a critique of the American dream.” –Broad!!

Specifying a specific and concrete focus requires the writer to think, really think, about what it is that he or she wants to say and prove. If you have a broad thesis, it is wise to spend more time thinking through your ideas in order to work toward a greater degree of specificity in your thinking.

Tips for Thesis Construction

Fact + Finding (the “why”; a theory or interpretive conclusion)

EXAMPLE: Nearly every character in Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is preoccupied with the past and exhibits a longing to return to it. This quest, embodied poignantly in Tom Buchanan and Jay Gatsby, underscores the deep-seated psychological need in a post-war generation to return to an irrecoverable and idealized state of innocence, selfhood and security.

What (a specific observation) + “So What”

EXAMPLE: F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is peopled by characters who in many ways embody the American dream extolled by Franklin. Through such characters as Tom and Daisy respectively, the novel exposes the moral decay and corruption borne out of the Franklinian outlook, an outlook that valorizes the appearance of success and virtue while ignoring the reality of inner emptiness.

Point + Counter-Point

EXAMPLE: It is seductive to view Francis Slaughtery’s wealth through the conventional lens of prosperity: namely that wealth and material prosperity are a means to an end, resulting in happiness and inner fulfillment. However, Lee underscores an important critique of material definitions of wealth in Slaughtery: the sole pursuit of material power and acquisition emotionally and psychologically stagnates, if not cripples the individual, who is left emotionally detached and devoid of higher moral meaning.

EXAMPLE: Writing autobiography may appear to be a relatively factual process, an objective chronological recording of events in straightforward fashion. Through careful study of Franklin’s Autobiography, however, we see that writing one’s life story is indeed an interpretive, if not highly imaginative act: at the core of Franklin’s narrative is a deep-seated desire to create an idealized mythology of the self as a self-governing agent, one who controls his own destiny and outcome.