Darryl Richmond

Nothing Man

Why do you have two copies of Mein Kampf?

In case I loan one out I have a backup.

You’re an idiot Alex.

Fuck you, you’re a dumbass.

Whatever man.

Why didn’t you talk to Julia when you had the chance?

I don’t know she looked busy.

She was there by herself!

She looked like she was thinking about something.

Are you kidding? You some kind of mind reader now? I would hope she was thinking about something, I wouldn’t want a girl without a thought in her head.

That’s not what I mean! You know, she looked like she was really dealing with something.

Yeah, probably how to give you the brush off.

Whatever man. What do you want to do tonight?

Nothing, just bong out and stay here.

Cool, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know, go ask my mom.

You ask her.

This is some nice herb.

Hell yeah, Rock always gets the best buds. You want to go down to Rainbow?

I’m tired of hanging at the liquor store.

How about Knapp Park?

I don’t feel like driving that far. I can skate in the driveway if I want to skate.

Damn you’re burnt.

Why? Just because I like to stay home doesn’t mean I’m burnt. I do shit all the time. I’m away more than I am here.

I don’t know it just seems like we just hang in this room all the time.

Nobody’s holding you hostage.

That’s not what I mean. I like hanging; I just think that if we’re out somewhere we can hook up with chicks.

Whatever man.

I think I’m gonna go. I need to get some laundry done.

All right man, later.

Why do I have two copies of Mein Kampf? I don’t even remember buying one. Oh well. I HATE ANAYLZING MYSELF. Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my head. Press the off button and shut down. This weed definitely helps. I bet I’ve seen this episode of M*A*S*H 100 times. Maybe I should leave this room, go to Monica’s house or something. Why should I leave? Everything I need is right here; weed, food, beer, tunes and TV. Now that I think about it this is the perfect spot. The only thing missing is pussy, but even if I go out somewhere I’m not getting pussy. So I might as well stay here and relax and not worry about anything.

Hey man.

What’s up?

Not much, what have you been doing?

I guess I dozed off for a little while.  Where did you go?

I went home and then to the Laundromat, did a couple of loads then dropped the stuff off and here I am.

Anyone at the Laundromat?

A couple of Mexican chicks.

Fuckable?

Nah fatties.

Do you stay there while the stuff is in the machine?

You have to, I’ve seen people lose shit; I ain’t going for that. I hear you I’d hate to have to stand guard over my clothes though. 

Do what you gotta do, you know.

Right, whatever man. Where’s the bong?

Over here you got some weed?

Sure you know me pal, always good for some bong hits.

Do you remember where I got those two copies of Mein Kampf?

I didn’t even know you had one.

I think maybe I got one at that book store in the mall. I think it was on the bargain table where I got that hockey book. I don’t know, I can’t even remember how long ago that was. Look at this commercial. We should go to Las Vegas.

We should do a lot of things but we don’t.

Vegas would be cool though.

How the fuck are we gonna get to Las Vegas? Do you know what the marijuana laws are in Nevada? They put you away for a long time there.

How the fuck did you talk me into driving to Las Vegas?

You know you wanted to go. You’ve never been there so it’s perfect. Let’s stop at 7-11 and get some beer before you get on the freeway. That’s another thing! Free booze as long as you’re gambling.

No shit? Where did you hear that?

Everyone knows that.

Excellent, I can’t wait to get drunk for free.

Don’t forget you’re trying to win some money there.

Don’t worry about that, I’ll be fine.

Park on the side of the store.

Ok, hurry up.

Get over here mother fucker! Get down on the floor right here.

What the fuck?

Yeah bitch you walked in on the middle of my boost. Now you’re part of my gig.

I ain’t seen nothing.

Good bitch, keep it that way. Now mister mutha fucking employee of the month, let’s get some more cash out of that safe.

I can only get $40 every 20 minutes.

How much time has it been?

It’s 12 more minutes before I can get anything else out.

Fuck, we gotta go playa, we can’t wait that long.

Ok, give me all the cigarettes in a box.

Here you go man, what brand?

Kools & Marlboros & Newports.

Here you go man.

You got cameras in here?

Yeah, right there.

Where the tape?

It’s offsite.

What the fuck you sayin?

They tape it somewhere else.

So the shit ain’t in the back?

Come on G, we gotta go.

Y’all forget my face.

We gotta get out of here!

Why what the fuck happened?

Go Go Go!

Ok, ok what happened?

I walked in on a robbery.

Two fuckin niggers were robbing the store.

No shit, did they have guns?

One of them did for sure, I don’t know about the other one, but check this shit out.

Whoa, how did you get that?

When that mother fucker put me on the ground it fell out of his hoodie pocket. That’s why I wanted to get the fuck out of there; I didn’t want those fuckers to realize they dropped it and come back. Plus the cops were going to show up.

That is fucking excellent, you get into a shitty situation and you find a way to profit. That’s what it’s all about man, making things happen. This never would have happened sitting around bonging out in your room.

Maybe not, but you have to admit, my room is ok too.

Whatever man.