Jeanelle Turner

It Was Just a Kiss

David and I had always been the most loved couple by the people at our school. We thought we were going to make it all the way from high school to marriage. I was so wrong. David was never the type to understand my needs and what I wanted; it was always about him and what he wanted. He was one of the most selfish people I encountered but I dated him anyway. Why wouldn’t I, he was just so cute. I catered to him so much that even his parents loved me, and they had every right to I am adorable and loving. But I will never forget that in one day David decided to throw all that away over nothing.

            I loved David with all my heart and soul and he loved me just as much, but after high school was over and we had been dating for a whole year we started to argue. It wasn’t like the normal type of arguing we did, though, it was more rooted in hatred. I think it came from him being scared to leave me when we decided not to go to the same college. I think that it was all David’s fault but he would beg to differ. He told me that I was conceited and thought only of myself. But that’s so far from the truth because I gave him everything he ever wanted. It was me in the relationship not getting fulfilled. But that’s neither here nor there, what happened between us has followed him and shaped his relationships from here on out while I learned never to date someone like him.

            It all started the day that I met Scott, who worked at the local Blockbuster. He was nobody I would ever date in life. He had a rather tan complexion and was overly skinny. I mean David was skinny too but not Scott skinny. It drove me nuts how skinny he was, and the way he spoke already told me that if he didn’t have an education it was high time that he got one. Anyway my sister was along with me as usual considering her lackluster life; she always followed me. We were looking for some movie or another, I can’t remember which one, and we asked Scott for help. He looked like he was creeping towards us as if he had a hidden agenda or we were some kind of secret plan. Come to find out he was in fact going to be a secret.

            The things that happened at this point aren’t of any relevance to my situation with David so we are going to skip it. Just understand that me and Scott exchanged numbers that night. On Fridays between David and I arguing about everything and anything, I began to break dates. I had a date with the local Blockbuster guy every Friday and it was worth it. Scott started to get cuter by the minute in that ugly blue polo shirt. I always hated that shirt on him. If anything it made him look skinner than what he was. Nonetheless we spent countless hours in the store “searching” for movies and flirting in between. He had a girlfriend (who worked at the same Park I worked at) and I had a boyfriend but there was no reason we couldn’t still be friends, right?

On one particular night we were standing in the parking lot just talking and he leaned over and kissed me. His lips were so thin that I barely felt them and I felt nothing behind it. No emotion. But I kissed him for about ten minutes in that parking lot and wondered what would David say. Nothing, probably; he never cared about me. Till this day he doesn’t believe when I say I thought about him that night. He just thinks it’s all lies, but whatever.

Well, I felt oh so guilty and my guilt was starting to weigh on my soul. So I called David one morning while I was at work. I decided to tell him then so we could have all night to discuss the kiss I had with Scott rather than go to sleep angry. So I called and said, “David, I have something really important to say but I don’t want you to get mad or anything. I kissed another guy. But he isn’t anybody that I want to be with, it just happened. I don’t love him, I love you and I wanna be with you, but I’m sorry!”

David said, “How could you say you love me when you kissing another guy!”

“Okay, calm down and don’t yell. I’m telling you its not like that.”

“You kissed another guy and expect me not to be mad! How stupid could you be!”

“Why are you trying to hurt my feelings? I really am sorry!” At this point I was on the verge of tears; he had never called me stupid before or yelled at me like that. He continued to hurt me saying, “I love you so much and you do this to me. I mean I never cheated on you and I never kissed another girl before. I could have done a lot of things in our relationship but I cared too much about you. I respected you when you said you didn’t want to have sex. And for a year I waited for you and you hurt me like this!”

Well at this point I was in tears. Why was he acting like this? If I had never cared about him or intended to hurt him I would not be crying and I would not be telling him what I did. Didn’t he understand that I was feeling guilty about what happened? But nonetheless he continued to yell.

“You and me are done! I can’t take this anymore. All the fightin and yellin we do and all the pain you putting me through now. I can’t deal with this. It’s just over. I loved you and I did so much for you and you throw it back in my face like I ain’t shit to you. Another dude! Be with him, then, fuck you!” And with that David hung up.

Okay, what I did was wrong and all, but I apologized so in my head it should count for something. Apparently it doesn’t. And what is he talking about, all he has done for me. I have done more for him then he had ever done for me. I loved him so much and all I could do that day was cry. I was glad that it was over because only thing he ever did was hurt me. He was probably sleeping with other girls. Actually I just know he was because we never did anything. It’s whatever because I didn’t need him anyhow. But I still wanted to work it out. He was my first love and I knew that I would always love him. I knew there was no other man for me. David was my life choice.

I continued to call him and try and talk but all over conversations ended with a “Fuck you!” or a “Fuck you bitch!” And it always came from him. He couldn’t see how sorry I was and how much pain I was in. I mean I know I was wrong, but I was hurting too. I realized that I wanted to be with him only. He just couldn’t seem to understand where I was coming from.

Needless to say, things didn’t work out with me and Scott. I told him to stop talking to me because I don’t date cheaters and he ruined my relationship with David.

David and I never did get back together. The people from our school were devastated at the loss. I just know they were. They wanted David and me to be together forever. We had the best relationship at school. Although no one was as hurt as me. I regretted what I had done to David and I just wanted him back so much. It was just a kiss that meant nothing to me. Till this day I think about David. Despite all the girlfriends he has had since me, he did tell me that I was the best girlfriend he has ever had and I can’t disagree. Oh well, it’s been four years since we broke up, but I miss him still. I wonder if he will forgive me now. I guess we have to wait and see.