Ryan Shostak

1/26/2008

I look over my shoulders frantically

I check my rearview mirrors,

Nothing

What made that awful sound?

I see a cloud of smoke rising in the air

coming from the ditch.

I put my car into park, open the door.

Sprint across the road, Jump into the ditch

My heart is racing, I’m scared.

I find myself face-to-face with a teenage girl

Smoke pillaring out from the hood,

The Suburban looks no bigger than a 2-door Sudan

“Ma’am!” I yell, “Ma’am!

Nothing

I shout to the spectators,

“Call 911!” no one moves.

Again I yell, “Call 911!”, finally a woman makes the call.

Another man comes into the ditch with me,

We are concerned for the girl; we think she may be dead.

Then she groans and tries to move.

Nothing

She is pinned, the airbag deployed.

She can’t speak, she can barely breath.

We hear her gurgling something in her mouth.

She is choking on her blood.

We break open the back door,

Cut off the seat belt and tilt her head.

Nothing

Her chest has stopped moving,

She has stopped her groaning.

A cough comes, and we are relived.

She coughs up all the blood from her mouth and throat.

She begins to breathe on her own.

We feel accomplished; we’ve saved this girl’s life.

Where is the Ambulance?

 It has been too long!

We sit still and reassure the girl help is on the way.

We all listen.

Nothing

Eventually sirens break the silence

They grow louder and louder.

A medic comes to the back door

He asks me to move and as I let go of her head

He quickly supports it and she continues to breathe.

The rest of the team show up

They check for her response to simple tests

Nothing

She is barely breathing, barely alive

The helicopter arrives, and she is loaded in.

I give my testimony about what happened

Then I’m back on the road, and I continue my life.

I drive by the accident spot early the next day.

Nothing

A few car parts are lying around; tire tracks in the grass

But I don’t care about these, I wonder if she survived.

Did she make to the hospital?

Is she still alive?

What was her name?

I wonder all day long, then I drive past the site again.

There is a cross, flowers are everywhere.

Her name was Kristin Wade.

Was there anything I could have done to save her?

Was this my fault?

Did I cause more damage that good?

Why did she lose control of her car?

When did she die?

Did she die on her way to the hospital?

Did her family say good-bye?

Why did God let this happen?

I stop. I breathe. I feel.

Nothing